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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Midsummer


I just found this post sitting all forgotten in my drafts. It's a tad belated, almost a month late but better late than never I think the saying goes...


Summer is upon us. The Earth is awash with green fertility and the pungent perfume of blossoms. The heat of the afternoon Sun will burn our skin if we venture out longer than a half hour (or is that just me?)


Last year I celebrated the Summer Solstice in the northern region of Australia. The wet days and the alternating chilly and clammy nights did little to inspire me. I unfortunately have to say I almost let any celebrations slip by unnoticed. I guess I am just one of those people who need to feel an inner urge to celebrate my connection to a sabbat in order to be spiritually moved.

This year I am temporarily back in the small bush town I grew up in. This morning I walked outside my door and was greeted with brilliant sunlight, the kind of light which causes us to squeeze our eyes tightly it's so intense. It was wonderful! The day before the Solstice and I am finally able to enjoy a hot, humid and bright Summer morning. Now we are getting somewhere.

I don't know if it is just me but Summer has this effect on me where it brings up a torrent of childhood memories every year. Blistering days where I remember the searing heat of concrete driveways burning the soles of my feet as my brother and I raced towards an ice-cream truck. The smells of eucalyptus and fosters reminds me of Summer nights. For me it is all about the aroma. The smell of the gum trees is something that has the power to move me to tears, and I do not consider myself a person who is easily susceptible to great shows of emotion. But if there is one thing that can trigger such strong emotions within me it is that single scent.

I usually celebrate Sabbat's 'organically' as in no set formal celebrations or rites. I prefer to experience the seasons and my personal ways of communing with nature which includes walks and spontaneous meditations. Basically I just want to be outside, it's a calling I feel in my bones that builds as the Summer season's energy intensifies. Summer is a potent time, it's searing hot and bursting with colour. The Summer Sun pours it's energy down upon us. When I sit in the sunlight of Summer I feel immense energy coursing through not only my body but the plants, trees and animals around me. Everything is alive and vibrant in this moment.







Monday, December 5, 2011

Of Gods.....


It has been too long since I have been stirred by Deity. So long in fact that I had thrown away the concept of Gods altogether and concentrated myself solely on the physical aspects of Pagan worship. While this was fulfilling and I learnt much about my own connection to the Earth and her cycles I truly, deep down felt as though something was missing. That I hadn't yet found what I was seeking. The problem is, is that I still have no idea if I am any closer now than I was all those years ago. But I will say this, it's going to be a very interesting experience........


I've always struggled with my belief in the existence of actual Gods despite my near obsession with mythology pertaining to the Gods. It a concept that greatly confuses me and I have spent many, many hours contemplating as to whether I truly am crazy for my thoughts even drifting in the direction of them being 'real'. I'm a practical person at heart so I have a tenancy to place my experiences in the crazy bin unless they have been physically proven or backed up by someone I implicitly trust. I have mentioned before that I am a Reiki practitioner and I have been asked as to how I can carry a belief in Reiki so strongly but dismiss the existence Deity out of hand. When I was first attuned to Reiki it was a brilliant physical experience. I could literally feel the energy coursing through my hands in the very same way I can feel my coffee cup in my hand right now. It was a tangible experience that has been backed up by many peoples experiences since. The concept of Gods is a little trickier to wrap my head around. In the last year I have had three separate Deities present themselves to me. All three feel as though they have distinct personalities and energies with their presence and so out the window goes my avoidance of polytheistic belief. I have spent a year in meditation with Deity, the journal that had sat unused for 4 years previously is now full to the brim of Deity experiences. I've flipped back through a few times and while I was reading through I could feel the ugly self doubt creeping back through - I'm crazy right? I'm just compensating for something and just creating 'Deity' experiences.

I've dismissed them many times and every time I have Their quiet voice within me has become a roar. If I ignore them them I find that my thoughts become consumed with thought of them. Back in August I had finally had enough so I sat down and did one of my favorite things. I closed my eyes and thought about what was troubling me and especially about how I feel when Deity is around me (which is wonderful but still entirely and frustratingly confusing) then reached out my hand and randomly pulled a book from my shelf and let it fall open in my lap. This time I had opened to page 148 of Eat, Pray, Love and my eyes immediately fell upon the words:


"That's just your ego, trying to make sure it stays in charge. This is what your ego does. It keeps you feeling separate, keeps you with a sense of duality, tries to convince you that you are flawed and broken and alone instead of whole."


That Richard is a wise man.