Thursday, October 4, 2012

Pagan Blog Project - On Being Solitary

Either by choice or circumstance many of us find ourselves alone at some point. My solitary path happens to fall into both categories.

Living a life attached to the military has afforded me the opportunity to travel and experience my country but it has also isolated me through circumstance, this is the lifestyle I love but as everything does it comes with its own set of pros and cons. I've spent a large chunk of the last two years alone. This hasn't been all for the worst. I've learnt I can rely only upon myself during the tough times and I've seen myself grow into a strong, capable and independent woman. All of which has been a boon to my spiritual practice. But on the other side I feel I've somewhat lost touch with the part of me that wants to share and engage with other spiritual souls. I've become so used to my own company over these last years that I am filled with confusion with the sudden desire to be with others. Though today it seems I could look to the horizon and not see another Pagan soul for miles. I know they're out there. They must be right?

My dilemma is that I feel I am finally at a place where I would value a group mind. I feel I have as much to offer as to gain. The main reason I have remained solitary and not sought out others is out of respect. What happens in twelve months when I have to leave? To me a group/coven should function as a family. The spiritual connection between members must be strong as should be their participation. I can't promise I will be there.

So far I have undertaken the majority of my studies alone, with the exception to the distance apprenticeship I began earlier this year. I'm comfortable in my solitude. Being on my own allows me immense freedom. I am free to read what I like, to work when I feel like, to contemplate in my own time. This has created such an intimate bond between myself and my spirituality. Would being a member of a group shift this? I don't know, I've never been part of one. Maybe one day. I've heard the saying when the student is ready the teacher will appear. Perhaps this is also true for covens.