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Thursday, March 8, 2012

Pagan Blog Project - Crossroads

I have found myself standing at a crossroads many times in my life. It can be an unexpected and confusing experience when you believe you are traveling steady along one road only to blink and find yourself alone and staring down multiple paths when you didn't even realise they existed a minute ago.

But for the first time I find myself at a spiritual crossroads with no idea which road I should be turing to. Am I still Gaian? Am I devoted to Cernunnos and Danu? Have I indeed been claimed by Hekate as she insists I have? Is there a way to blend the three paths together?

Hekate's association with crossroads has not escaped my attention. In fact She is the reason I find myself standing there alone now. The reason I am standing alone is because that is where my fate ultimately lies - with myself.

Until now I have considered my life to be a product of my own hand. Spiritually speaking this view has become blurred around the edges. Hekate's arrival in my life forced me into a period of deep introspection and confrontation of every aspect of myself. It is because of Her that I know myself more intimately and have cultivated a intense trust in myself spiritually. Her arrival was unexpected and She immediately placed me in the crossroads. It took me many months to understand why I was there. Looking back I now see a slow stripping away of everything I once believed that left me bare. I was going through so much internal confusion during that time that I was contemplating leaving any form of spirituality behind me forever. Through my pain and frustration I found that I needed to process who I was to be able to redefine who I am becoming now.