Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Recently my intuitive sense has been increasing exponentially. I have been on this crazy ride the last four months has seen me almost turn completely around in my thought process. I usually question everything, and by everything I mean down to the teeny, tiny, minute detail. It was frustrating, headache and heartache producing stress.
I honestly admit that I don't know when I changed my mind, I don't even know how it happened but I find myself now in the experience instead of thinking about the experience. What is even stranger still - I'm enjoying the freedom. "You are free," is a phrase that has been re-occurring in my meditations, my dreams, day dreams, random signs (actual signpost signs that have been popping up everywhere) & song lyrics. I had no idea what it meant - to be free. Spiritually free, free from constantly trying to 'understand' the 'reason' behind everything I saw, touched, did, it was exhausting me. I ended up after 13 years of spiritual searching with nothing. A clean slate. Feeling that loss was such an extremely emotional moment in my life. In my grief over my perceived loss of all that was spiritual I didn't see it coming - that moment where I didn't have to think, where I could be in the moment without my mind trying to control my experience.
It is happening over and over again, everyday. My intuition is sneaking through in small moments throughout the day, "don't cross the road yet," a car will pass whose driver didn't bother to indicate. Someone calling on the phone, or knowing who is standing at my door before they knock. A song on the radio. Understanding the sunrise. All these when written down in text will seem insignificant to most but to me they show me how different I now am. How open I am to experiencing myself for the first time. I understand now why I need to be bare. I never would have accepted these experiences fully in my past. They would have been stripped until they no longer existed.
I can feel myself opening up. I know that in the coming months I will be moving away from my shadow work. I feel blessed to have entered and explored the very the depths of myself, my own underworld. I can feel the shift, subtle as it may be at the moment. The shadow work within my root chakra was the building of a foundation of myself. My intuition tells me it's time to move on from my Root and into my Sacral. In shifting above I carry within me an understanding of why that foundation is so important. My gift from such intense journeying through the underworld and back is my intuition & my willingness to trust it... I am free!